Do you ever have just one of those feelings? You know the one that makes you stop and really think? I remember the exact moment it hit me, I had just finished with L’s Boosterthon at school and was helping his 1st grade teacher and room mom clean the classroom. We were having a talk and I was telling them about a dream I had the night before. They were amazed I could remember it in such detail. Then it hit me, the only time I have these types of dreams is when I am pregnant. No, could not be that. I was heading to the store and while I was there I picked up the cheapest pregnancy test, I mean why buy the name brand one right? Well I took it and did not have to wait the 3 minutes it clearly showed the 2 lines. First shock came over then I thought this cheap store brand test, I better go get a real one. So back to the store I went and picked up the 2 pack of EPT. I took one of the EPT’s and it was without a doubt the plus sign. Still not convinced I went ahead and took the other one. I sat there on the hardwood floor forever staring at these three tests. WOW! Eric and I were not trying for this, we did not have any of those oops moments, this was all God’s timings. What to do now. I knew I needed to pick myself up off the floor and get ready for the afternoon carpool but I needed to tell someone. Eric was working at the office that day and figured I should not give him that type of surprise over the phone so naturally I called someone who had just been through the same thing. The conversation sticks in my head so clearly along with the scream that came from the other end of the line. But mostly it was the excitement in her voice that I needed to hear! I needed to hear it will be alright, I needed to hear we just went through it too, I needed to hear that God is great and this little one is going to fit in perfectly with our family.
The longer I sat there the more it was hitting. Amy you ARE pregnant and you are starting all over again. The tears started. Not because I was not happy, it was tears of being scared. My body had changed a lot could I handle this pregnancy? Did I really have 2 Diet Cokes and Excedrin yesterday? Is that going to hurt the baby? The poor lady next to me wanted to get out of her car but I waved her off. I held my phone up like I was on it. She is probably thinking crazy mom alert! It was time for a good talk with God. Seriously, is this really what you want for our family! You do know we gave away EVERYTHING! You do know I am going to be one of those older moms who has one in kindergarten and one in college. We had a nice long chat J I pulled myself together long enough to get the boys to their first soccer drop off and I could not hold it in (sorry Eric) I just had to tell someone in person!! And out came another scream!! Yes, I showed her a picture of all 3 tests just so she would believe me!! That is when the hug came and more tears flowed. Still tears of being scared to death on how much things will change but also tears of excitement, tears of joy!
Off to the last soccer practice of the day and Eric headed to a soccer sale an hour away after work. I could not believe I had this incredible news to tell him and he would not be home for another 4 hours! I was visiting with 3 of the moms from C’s age when I shared the news with them. Maybe if I said it out loud I will start to believe it myself. More screams, more tears, more hugs, more reassurance that this is the best news! By this time of the day I was laughing hysterical, I was thinking ok, if I could just tell Eric it will really be true!
Eric finally made it home that night at 11:10. I told Eric I went shopping today too and mine is going to cost more then what he spent at the soccer sale (for those who have been totally get this!) He opened the onesie and read it, he had this look, not of shock but ok lets do this. I looked at him and said honey you do get we are having A BABY. And he said yes, this is great! So calm, so excited, so happy, this is just what I needed……..
Two hours went by and it was time to head off to pick up the boys. I decided I would tell Eric as soon as he came in the door so I made a quick run by Walmart and picked up a little onesie along with fabric paint. While waiting I painted Little Bratager July 2012. And then I sat in carpool line in shock. Yes shock will be used a lot over the next few weeks/months!
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